Introduction
Being a good parent is hard, as is being a good son or daughter and honoring our parents. One strategy the devil uses to mess up our lives is messing up our families. Godly families require a lot of patience and forgiveness.

Today’s Scripture
‭‭Ephesians 6:1-4‬ (New Living Translation)

Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

Explanation and Reflection
In looking at families, five commands are vital for them to function well.

1. Obey
   In our culture of independence, obedience is taboo. However, as we argued in our discussion on submission, the Bible supports the idea of roles and hierarchy. In the parent-child relationship, we find another expression of that. Kids need to obey their parents. This takes into account the fact that different kids at different ages have different capacities for obedience. A five-year-old can’t understand and obey in the same way a 15-year-old can. A parent’s expectations must be graceful and reasonable, but your kids are expected at some point to follow you. Be the type of parent worth following.
2. Honor
   Paul wants kids to honor their parents, and this is linked back to the 10 Commandments. This idea is rooted in two important things. First, there is the “office” of the parent. Kids should honor their parents simply by virtue of them being their parents. The role of a parent alone is worthy of celebration and praise. Even if a child has a bad parent, there is a Biblical expectation that kids should dig deep and honor their parents. Second, there is the fact that most parents (not all) worked hard to raise us. Kids don’t come with a manual, and the world has changed significantly. Even when parents fall short in parenting, most are trying, and kids should still respect and love them. They are going to make mistakes. Whether you are a 10-year-old or a 50-year-old adult “kid,” you need to cut your parents some slack and honor them. Their job as parents is tough, and they are human beings bound to mess some things up.
3. De-escalate
   Now, we shift to the parents' responsibilities in the following three pieces. Paul says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them.” While addressed directly to dads here, this command could also apply to moms and even kids. The idea is that we all need to learn how to de-escalate. Sometimes, winning the argument in your house is really losing because the damage done is more significant than the victory. Too often, we all go to dark places and use tactics that do great harm just to power up and take the win. Don’t take the low road to win a small argument only to lose the more important thing: long-term family health.
4. Discipline
   Parents are expected to discipline their children. This seems like a no-brainer, yet some parents think it’s more their job to be their kid’s friend than their parent. Be mindful of the difference here and lean into parenting. That role usually involves things like boundaries, discipline, and some “nos.” Conversely, it’s also not your job to be your kid’s enemy. Discipline over-applied can lead to parents acting more like prison guards than loving caregivers. Being a good parent is a balance between boundaries and freedoms. 
5. Instruct
   Finally, parents are told here in Ephesians to provide instruction. Deuteronomy 6:1-9 states:
   “Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
   This is just saying we need to know scripture and instruct our kids in it. Don’t try to be a “Christian” household without scripture. Proper parenting must be rooted in the Bible.

It’s essential to acknowledge that some of us have suffered child abuse or had terrible relationships with our parents due to several factors (trauma, overbearing behavior, manipulation, etc.). While the pain of these issues is real and valid, it’s vital that you still learn to heal, forgive, honor, and draw boundaries for healthy future relations. If your past is very dark, you may need professional Christian counseling.
Scripture commands us to honor our parents. It’s not optional. Most people you meet with unresolved parent issues carry those hurts into work, churches, friendships, and their homes. The patterns we swore we would never repeat end up repeating due to a lack of forgiveness and healing with our parents. It’s imperative that you don’t leave family-of-origin issues unresolved so you can be your best self and honor Christ everywhere.

Question of the Day
Here’s a question for you to think about and apply:
How well do you honor your parents? How can you improve on this? If you are a parent, which area of parenting could you work on (de-escalating, disciplining, or instructing)?